Tag: self-help

being mom, enjoy life, life

A New Year’s Resolution for the Overwhelmed, Forgetful and Easily Distracted

I hate New Year’s resolutions.  Hate them.  The worst part of New Year’s day for me was always when the qxh (quasi-ex-husband) would pull out a piece of paper and write “Trotter Family Resolutions” across the top.  So we could “pull them out at the end of the year and see how we did”.  Great, another completely unrealistic standard to feel bad about not meeting.  Just what I need! 

The other day I read an article which advised that the key to keeping this year’s resolutions was to set up specific targets.  Like “I will exercise 3 times a week and lose 25 lbs by April 1.”  Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Seriously.  That’s what it said.  Like the two are related.  Continue reading “A New Year’s Resolution for the Overwhelmed, Forgetful and Easily Distracted”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
being mom, enjoy life

Telling the difference between an excuse and a reason

I’m not one to put much stock in sterotypes, but I was raised Catholic.  And I have Catholic guilt.  Bad.  But I’ve worked really hard to get rid of it and I’ve learned some things along the way.  Like that the problem with Catholic guilt is that it relies on a very inaccurate view of how the world works.  It’s mostly sustained by the holy trio of bad ideas:

1. Somehow everything is my responsibility

2  Everything that goes wrong is my fault. 

3. What I want or think is almost certainly wrong.

Catholic guilt’s hard to get rid of because of the specter of pride lurking just over your shoulder.  If you reject the triumvrent above, it’s because you are giving into pride.  Giving into pride is giving into a delusion.  Taking the risk of being delusional requires lots of evidence and really, what have you ever done that’s so special any ways? 

One of the things which I have had to learn as part of the process of moving past feeling guilty for bothering people with my breathing is how to tell the difference between an excuse and a reason.  Continue reading “Telling the difference between an excuse and a reason”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter3 Comments
enjoy life, life, relationships, thoughts

3 Immutable Laws of Life

Adam Saveage of Mythbusters famously likes to say, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!”  Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work so well in real life.  While it is true that there are many ways of looking at life, there are 3 basic facts of life which one must be reconciled to at some point: 1. Life is hard. 2. Life is not fair. 3. … Continue reading 3 Immutable Laws of Life

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
life, prayer, relationships, thoughts

Know Thine Self

Getting to know yourself can be one of the biggest, most difficult jobs we will ever undertake.  But you can’t properly love yourself – or even really like yourself! – if you don’t know who you are.  If you don’t know who you are, how will you know what about yourself there is to love? Occassionally take some time to listen to yourself.  Sit quietly … Continue reading Know Thine Self

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
life, relationships

Learning to avoid conflict

For some people the problem isn’t tolerating conflict; its learning to avoid conflict that’s the challenge!  Conflict is part of life, but its important not to allow unneeded and unproductive conflict to become a regular part of life either.  Even when it’s necessary and productive, it’s not fun! As a rule, if the conflict is triggered by your emotional state (I’m crabby) or an emotional … Continue reading Learning to avoid conflict

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
life, relationships

Learning to tolerate conflict

There are many people who believe themselves to be peacemakers because they avoid conflict at all costs.  But peacemakers don’t avoid conflicts, they walk through them in order to find peace – if not an actual resolution.  To be a peacemaker, you must learn to tolerate conflict – even when that means having someone mad at you!  (This doesn’t mean tolerating abuse from someone who … Continue reading Learning to tolerate conflict

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter1 Comment
life, relationships

Being right is not the most important thing

Shortly after I got married, a girlfriend passed on this advice: “Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you would rather be right or you’d rather be married.  Because you can be right all the way to divorce court.”  The is the best advice for life I have ever heard. We humans have a strange obsession with being right.  Not only do we tend to … Continue reading Being right is not the most important thing

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
life, religion

“You’re so sensitive!”

“You’re being too sensitive.” Oh are those ever familiar words.  All through my childhood they trailed after me like a tin can tied to the end of my shoelaces with each step in danger of sending it bouncing across the floor.  The sound of those words clanging along behind me made me wince until I could hardly bear to move from my spot any more.  … Continue reading “You’re so sensitive!”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter7 Comments