The Mystery of Faith

"Go that way!"

I always wondered about faith.  Evangelicals say that you have to choose to have it.  Calvanists say that you are predestined to either have it or not.  It’s a free gift that you cannot earn.  But you have to nurture and hang onto it.  Catholics and Orthodox Christians practice it with rituals.  So many contradictory ideas. 

What I have learned is that faith is the little voice that pops up when you are discouraged or even despairing and points you back to God.  It tells you something true and sometimes what is true is not what you want to hear.  And you can choose to embrace it and continue walking by faith or you can reject it and try to find your own way forward.   And when times are hard, you have to really listen for it.  You have to really hold onto what you hear.  Because soon enough something will come and wash that little piece of comfort away. 

When I have taught my kids to pray, I have always started with the story of Elijah at Horab from 1 Kings 19:

So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Continue reading “The Mystery of Faith”

Throwing Pennies at God

You know the story of the widow’s mite?  How Jesus said this widow throwing her last two pennies into the collection box was more faithful than those putting in large amounts from their wealth?  I always read the story and assumed that the widow was giving her last two pennies out of reverence.  But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been that woman throwing her last coins into the Salvation Army bucket.  And it wasn’t often done out of reverence.  When I was younger, I might put my penny in so I wouldn’t feel bad about walking past the bucket without putting anything in.  Sometimes I did put my last coins in as a way of saying, “I know it’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got.  I’ll just trust you to provide the increase.”  A few times though, I put my last coins in as an act of protest and complaint; “You want everything?  Fine take my last pennies.  I do my best, I trust in you and I get left with nothing but a couple of pennies.” 

Research has found that poorer people give more of their money away than others.  A lot of that is because the amounts given as often so small that you weren’t going to do much with the money anyways.   It occured to me that maybe the widow wasn’t so sanguine about her life and her struggles either.  Two copper coins wasn’t worth much.   It would barely have bought food for one meal.  And then what?  Maybe that widow too had been walking this path for too long.  Maybe she was more broken than obedient and was throwing those copper pieces as a form of defiance and challenge to God?  Continue reading “Throwing Pennies at God”

Hanging on by a broken toenail

“Hanging on by a broken toenail” was the description I gave of my mental state earlier today to a friend who, thankfully, listened to my overwhelming mess of a life until I felt better (thank you, Mary!).  If you haven’t been there before, just give it time.  It’ll come to most all of us, unfortunately.  Which is why years ago certain worship songs started to … Continue reading Hanging on by a broken toenail

Apparently My Week Has 8 Days In It

I started to do these “Best of the Week” posts a few weeks ago and it seems that my week is consistently 8 days long.  Which I have no doubt that people who have to deal with me would agree is pretty much how I work!  But hey – it’s my blog and it’s free!  (Although you can make a donati0n to support the site … Continue reading Apparently My Week Has 8 Days In It

You Like Me, You Really, Really Like Me!

The internet is so awesome.  It’s like a really broad-scale demonstration of what it would look like if we took the most prosperous 25% of all humanity and transferred their brains to the “the cloud”.  It’s like the internet – the good, the bad, the so bad it’s good and so good it’s making me want to start a meme – is just sitting out … Continue reading You Like Me, You Really, Really Like Me!

Defiance is a Christian Virtue

The moments in my life that have been most sure and which have left me with the most peace and joy have been moments of defiance.  The times when, even though no one else would get it, I knew the path I needed to take forward and I took it.  These are my reckless moments.  Those things that caused offense, consternation, even concern for my … Continue reading Defiance is a Christian Virtue

Emergency Prayers

My high school English teacher told us to do this and I still do: say a prayer when you see flashing lights or hear a siren. Keeping a good perspective is absolutely essential to enjoying life and emergency lights and sirens are great reminders of just how good our lives our.  Because somewhere nearby someone is having a really, really, really bad day. Flashing lights … Continue reading Emergency Prayers

“You’re so sensitive!”

“You’re being too sensitive.” Oh are those ever familiar words.  All through my childhood they trailed after me like a tin can tied to the end of my shoelaces with each step in danger of sending it bouncing across the floor.  The sound of those words clanging along behind me made me wince until I could hardly bear to move from my spot any more.  … Continue reading “You’re so sensitive!”

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

Note: A few years back I did some writing for a now defunct Christian magazine.  I never put these articles up here because the magazine owns the rights to them, but now that they are defunct, well, I’m going to share! In the early ‘90s Salt-n-Peppa famously sang “Let’s talk about sex, baby” and boy, oh boy do we take their exhortations to heart.  Sex … Continue reading Let’s talk about sex, baby!