I used to think that being wrong was unacceptable. I used to always feel bad about myself. Go figure, huh? Here’s the thing which I had missed: I wasn’t just inevitably wrong, I was unavoidably wrong. Which means that being wrong isn’t unacceptable – it can’t be helped. And in keeping with my philosophy that I don’t need to feel bad about things I can’t … Continue reading Be Wrong . . . All the Time
Adam Saveage of Mythbusters famously likes to say, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work so well in real life. While it is true that there are many ways of looking at life, there are 3 basic facts of life which one must be reconciled to at some point: 1. Life is hard. 2. Life is not fair. 3. … Continue reading 3 Immutable Laws of Life
Since I am a contrarian at heart and everyone and their brother is doing the “Let’s talk about what we’re thankful for” bit, I’m going to offer up something completely different. Because as important as gratitude is, I also know that on Thanksgiving there are an awful lot of people for whom the answer to “what are you most grateful for?” is “that I don’t … Continue reading Thanksgiving Family Survival Guide
For some people the problem isn’t tolerating conflict; its learning to avoid conflict that’s the challenge! Conflict is part of life, but its important not to allow unneeded and unproductive conflict to become a regular part of life either. Even when it’s necessary and productive, it’s not fun! As a rule, if the conflict is triggered by your emotional state (I’m crabby) or an emotional … Continue reading Learning to avoid conflict
There are many people who believe themselves to be peacemakers because they avoid conflict at all costs. But peacemakers don’t avoid conflicts, they walk through them in order to find peace – if not an actual resolution. To be a peacemaker, you must learn to tolerate conflict – even when that means having someone mad at you! (This doesn’t mean tolerating abuse from someone who … Continue reading Learning to tolerate conflict
Shortly after I got married, a girlfriend passed on this advice: “Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you would rather be right or you’d rather be married. Because you can be right all the way to divorce court.” The is the best advice for life I have ever heard. We humans have a strange obsession with being right. Not only do we tend to … Continue reading Being right is not the most important thing
“You’re being too sensitive.” Oh are those ever familiar words. All through my childhood they trailed after me like a tin can tied to the end of my shoelaces with each step in danger of sending it bouncing across the floor. The sound of those words clanging along behind me made me wince until I could hardly bear to move from my spot any more. … Continue reading “You’re so sensitive!”
As we go through life, many of us are excellent at noticing and trying to protect ourselves against what is wrong or bad. However, if we don’t force ourselves to, we will rarely spare a thought for what is right and good in the things and people we come across. Basically, we become experts at studying the dark while remaining mostly oblivious to the light … Continue reading Every good gift
Recently, my 16 year old son gave me what I consider to be a great compliment; he told me that I needed to talk more in conversations with other people. Of course a couple of weeks later someone else I know complained that I wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. Some days, I’m sure she’s right. But the fact that my kid who … Continue reading Easy Listening
Finding and explaining what’s wrong with people is a great past-time. It’s fun, easy and makes you feel better about your life. It’s the junk food of human relationships! Believe it or not, figuring out what’s good about people is a great past-time as well. It’s challenging, satisfying and makes you feel better about the world. It’s the gourmet meal of human relationships. There are … Continue reading Looking for the Good – People Edition
The Upside Down World 