The most devastating experience I ever had was losing pretty much every friend I had after I made the decision to raise my oldest son despite being unmarried. I had friends that I loved with all my heart who cut off all contact with me and stop sharing anything about their own lives. (I wrote a bit about how and why I made the decision … Continue reading You are not my friend – the list
There’s an old story about a poor farmer’s son who goes to see a raja and his procession going through town. As the raja passes by, he drops a ring which the boy retrieves and returns to the raja. As a reward, the boy is given one of the raja’s fine horses. Everyone tells the boy how wonderful this is; now his father will have … Continue reading Suspend Judgement
Much to my family of origin’s dismay, sometimes my life is weird. And interesting. For example, earlier this year I had a chance to learn massage therapy from a crazy, old, hippy, Christian massage and hypnotherapist. He was a bit of a charlatan and con-artist, but a pretty sincere one. If you asked him, he would tell you the color of your aura, how many … Continue reading Much-Ado-About-Feelings
People working in impoverished areas around the world know that giving something to just one or a few individuals in a community creates intense conflict and resentment with those who did not receive anything. It doesn’t matter if those who received worked to earn it or if what was given is of little value. There seems to be something very deep in us that causes … Continue reading You Live Like Royalty!
Here’s a fact of life that many people have a hard time accepting: unless you were being physically manipulated or had a gun put to your head, you have never been forced to do anything. Not homework. Not driving on the right side of the road. Not take a job you hate or anything else. You may have felt like you were being forced to … Continue reading Own Your Choices
You know your happy place? That mountain or beach or spa or whatever that makes you feel that all is right with the world. I can’t seem to find my happy place. Maybe its because I’ve never been some where exciting or maybe my imagination just isn’t that good. What I can do is make “Feel-Good Memories“. When I feel really good – I try … Continue reading Making Feel Good Memories
Criticism is hard to do well. So hard, in fact that most of us shouldn’t attempt it. When you do find yourself inclined to offer criticism – no matter how oblique, use the split second delay time that should exist between your thoughts and your words to do a quick hypocrisy check. Are you guilty of the same error? Or worse? (And sorry to be … Continue reading Hypocrisy Check
As far as the east is from the west, I will remove your sins from you. – God That’s the offer of forgiveness we all want to take. But when it comes to forgiveness between us humans, as far as the east is from the west is a bit much to contemplate. God knows this. In fact, when the disciples were told that they had … Continue reading Stages of Forgiving
Sometimes someone you know is doing something that any idiot – yourself included – can see is heading for disaster. Most likely the person doing this knows that everyone thinks they are making a huge mistake. (If they don’t, if you are any sort of friend you need to be brave enough to gently raise it with them.) Once they know that others do not … Continue reading When Someone You Love is Making a Big Mistake
Forgiveness is absolutely essential, but sometimes our hurts are just so big. Here are some steps I have found useful in getting to a point of forgiveness. 1. Be realistic about your pain and what it is you are forgiving. If you are angry, be angry. If you are hurt, be hurt. Don’t pretend it’s not as bad as it is. If you are destroyed, … Continue reading Steps to Forgiveness
The Upside Down World 