The Prophetess of Doom and Gloom
I met a woman a couple of months ago who may have saved my life. At the very least, she brought a much needed spark of laughter and joy into a dark time. And I don’t even remember her name. She was a short woman, with slightly beaver like teeth, but it was a faux-masquerade ball at the local science museum for geeky adults and she was wearing a sequined mask, so I never saw her face. I went because not only am I a geeky adult, I’m also a member of the museum so it was free.
In the course of talking I mentioned that I had 5 kids and was separated from their dad. Turns out she was divorced as well. I listened to her story and expressed sympathy for her painful experience. And then she turned to me and said, “well, and I hate to be a Debby Downer here, but you do know you’re never going to get another man again. Not with 5 kids you’re not. No way. You’re going to spend the rest of your life alone.” At which point it took every ounce of self-control for me not to burst out laughing. Who says something like that? What is wrong with this person? How do you even respond to something like that? Do you burst into tears, confess your fear of being alone forever and let her shake her head knowingly at the shame of it all? If you try to protest that you’ll be OK she’s just going to assume you’re in denial and maybe humor you. I could have told her she was rude, but she was such a character I hated to see her leave in a huff. I told her I hadn’t started processing that aspect of my loss yet.
Now, if this had been all the woman said, that would have been enough to make it worth my drive out that night. But I will take it that God knows my sense of humor and put this dear woman in my path that night. Continue reading “The Prophetess of Doom and Gloom”
When I was a kid, every time one of my parents said, “don’t be a smart aleck” I had to supress the mighty urge to respond, “would you rather I be a dumb aleck?” (I’m pretty sure my attempts at repression failed more than once.) Even worse was when my dad would get frustrated with me and tell me, “ah- you just think you’re right.” Well, yeah – of course I think I’m right. If I thought I were wrong, I would change my mind. Duh. Change my mind if I’m so wrong. (At this point my father is saying to the monitor: “finally – she tells it like it really is!” To which I must simply point out that I was a teenager who never drank, smoked, did drugs, went to parties, dated or had sex. And I was usually on the honor roll and attended mass daily. The challenges of raising me could probably be viewed as the parenting equivalents of 
Remember when everyone was writing their “25 Random Things” lists on facebook? Believe or not, it’s been 2 years since that became such a big thing that news outlets 
There’s probably nothing guaranteed to make you feel worse on a day-in-day out basis than those unfinished tasks we just keep putting off. Unsent thankyou notes, unfolded laundry, bills, making that doctor’s appointment. Whatever. They just hang over our heads like big neon signs screaming “irresponsible”, “lazy”, “unorganized”. I know that a lot of people swear by lists, but that has never worked for me. I am completely unrealistic about what I can get done in a day, I am dissatisfied with anything less than near-perfection and the list thing just puts those two tendencies on a collision course with burn-out and discouragement. But in my relentless quest to be both healthy and happy – at the same time – I have hit on something that works for disorderly, easily discouraged, unrealistic me.
The Upside Down World 