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How to Recognize a Brother or Sister in Christ

I have met some of the coolest people while writing this blog. One of these days, I’m going to have to share the story of how God sent some of them to help catch me at the end of my fall last summer. Based on my experience with my readers, I have to assume that if you are reading my blog, you’re probably a pretty … Continue reading How to Recognize a Brother or Sister in Christ

Things to Say to Someone Who Is Suffering

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It makes me sad/angry to see what you’re going through. You deserve better. It won’t always be like this. It’s OK to be broken sometimes. Not everyone could handle this with as much grace/bravery/whatever as you. Sometimes all you can do is get through the day and that’s enough. I know it’s overwhelming right now, but I believe … Continue reading Things to Say to Someone Who Is Suffering

The Emotional God

Hey folks – I’ve been trying to write all day and it’s just not happening. I think I’ve written and erased a good 3500 words. Good practice, I suppose. But I probably should have just folded the laundry that’s piled 6 loads deep on the couch. The truth is I’ve been struggling pretty badly lately and that’s never good for my writing. Or much of anything else. I’m just . . . I don’t even know what to say except I’ve just had it. And that re-incarnation had damn well better not be true because if I ever have to do this shit again, I’m gonna be pissed. And I’m going to be a nasty, evil, vile person ‘cuz I’ve tried it the other way and it hasn’t done me a damn bit of good. So, if you could spare a prayer for pitiful me, I’d appreciate it. Maybe God will respond to y’all cuz he’s sure not answering me. OK, that was my pity-party way of saying that I have another repeat for ya. Usual “it’s one of my favorites and most of y’all didn’t read it the first time” disclaimers apply.

A couple of years ago, I was sitting on my front porch steps after dinner, watching my two oldest daughters playing and complaining to God in my head.  I don’t remember what it was (nothing too serious), but the husband had done something to chap my hide.  As I wound down my complaints and let the whole thing go, I asked God in an almost off-handed way, “do you ever have to deal with people treating you like this?”  At which point I’m pretty sure all of heaven burst into hearty guffaws.  But soon a funny thing started happening: as I dealt with people in my life, often some parallel experience between God and people would pop into my head. Continue reading “The Emotional God”

What to do if someone starts crying in front of you

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.  ~Kenji Miyazawa In the spring of 2000, I received a phone call informing me that my husband had collapsed at work and been taken to a nearby hospital.  By the time I got there, he was being released.  They had decided that he was having an asthma attack, so despite the fact that … Continue reading What to do if someone starts crying in front of you

The Emotional God

A couple of years ago, I was sitting on my front porch steps after dinner, watching my two oldest daughters playing and complaining to God in my head.  I don’t remember what it was (nothing too serious), but the qxh (quasi-ex-husband) had done something to chap my hide.  As I wound down my complaints and let the whole thing go, I asked God in an almost off-handed way, “do you ever have to deal with people treating you like this?”  At which point I’m pretty sure all of heaven burst into hearty guffaws.  But soon a funny thing started happening: as I dealt with people in my life, often some parallel experience between God and people would pop into my head. 

Sometimes it was something little, like calling someone who did not answer their phone.  How often does God try to reach out to people who ignore or reject the call because they are too busy, inattentive or just don’t feel like it?  I would ask one of my boys to load and run the dishwasher only to discover at dinnertime hours later that we had no clean pots, plates or utensils.  Suppose God ever asks people to do things that don’t get done?  Ocasionally, I would have to deal with someone who insisted on talking over me, refused to listen to my perspective or treat it with respect.  Yeah, I’m sure God never has to deal with stuff like that, right?

By the next summer a variety of calamities, traumas and disappointments had hit my family full force.  As the qxh started to dissemble and then turn on me, these parallels became more pointed and poignant.  Loving someone who is being supremely difficult, unreasonable and hostile turns out to be something that God is intimately familiar with.  Continue reading “The Emotional God”

You are not my friend – the list

The most devastating experience I ever had was losing pretty much every friend I had after I made the decision to raise my oldest son despite being unmarried.  I had friends that I loved with all my heart who cut off all contact with me and stop sharing anything about their own lives.  (I wrote a bit about how and why I made the decision … Continue reading You are not my friend – the list

When Someone You Love is Making a Big Mistake

Sometimes someone you know is doing something that any idiot – yourself included – can see is heading for disaster.  Most likely the person doing this knows that everyone thinks they are making a huge mistake.  (If they don’t, if you are any sort of friend you need to be brave enough to gently raise it with them.)  Once they know that others do not … Continue reading When Someone You Love is Making a Big Mistake