Mary the Grocery Store Lady and Me, Me, Me!
Last night I went to the local grocery store and saw that Mary had dyed her hair. I was a bit surprised. Mary never struck me as the hair dying sort. The cigarette smoking, beer drinking with her family sort, yes. Mary works overnights at the local grocery store and she kind of intimidates me. She’s not like the nice, cheery ladies who work during the day. Mary doesn’t look at you and she doesn’t care if you found everything you were looking for. She wears prescription sunglasses inside, is thin as a rail and moves like a man. I always think she hates me but I’ve watched her with other people and either she hates them too or that’s just the way she is.
I always try to talk to Mary. I hate how unfriendly people are around where I live, so I make a point of talking to people when I’m out. It’s my little protest. And I just think it’s right to be friendly. However, I’m actually pretty shy and easily intimidated. So when I run into someone like Mary I have to work up the nerve just to say “hi” and ask how it’s going. I don’t always make it. I feel like she’s so fiercely determined not to look at you and keep her mouth set in a straight line because she doesn’t want anyone to talk to her. But if I don’t even try to talk to her, I’m convinced that she thinks it’s because I’m a stupid, fat cow who thinks she’s to good to talk to a person like her. Which right there is a good demonstration of why it’s not healthy to try to put yourself into the head of a stranger. You’re just making crap up. Continue reading “Mary the Grocery Store Lady and Me, Me, Me!”
There’s probably nothing guaranteed to make you feel worse on a day-in-day out basis than those unfinished tasks we just keep putting off. Unsent thankyou notes, unfolded laundry, bills, making that doctor’s appointment. Whatever. They just hang over our heads like big neon signs screaming “irresponsible”, “lazy”, “unorganized”. I know that a lot of people swear by lists, but that has never worked for me. I am completely unrealistic about what I can get done in a day, I am dissatisfied with anything less than near-perfection and the list thing just puts those two tendencies on a collision course with burn-out and discouragement. But in my relentless quest to be both healthy and happy – at the same time – I have hit on something that works for disorderly, easily discouraged, unrealistic me.
I’m not one to put much stock in sterotypes, but I was raised Catholic. And I have Catholic guilt. Bad. But I’ve worked really hard to get rid of it and I’ve learned some things along the way. Like that the problem with Catholic guilt is that it relies on a very inaccurate view of how the world works. It’s mostly sustained by the holy trio of bad ideas:
The Upside Down World 