Tag: encouragement

enjoy life, life, religion

The Right Way to Stone Those You Love

Missy Piggy Tattoo by Jamie Sapp. Inspired by my career making performance, no doubt.

I’m not sure exactly what came over me, but one afternoon in the music room in junior high I was so charged up from a long day of doing anything I could think of to keep myself amused that I stood up and belted out the words “Look at moi! I’m as helpless as a piglet in a trough! . . . I get hungry just holding your hand!” like a 12 year old soprano Ethel Merman.  That afternoon, I remember standing by my mom’s bed where she was folding laundry and telling her a little sheepishly that I was going to be Miss Piggy in the school play.  It was kind of a big deal for me, but the thought of my family seeing me behave so outrageously was pretty mortifying.  And not only that, but I was going to be singing and dancing with a boy in my class.  In front of everyone!  A kind of cute boy even.  (Not that he could hold a candle to Justin Donneley who was not only the hottest 12 year old ever, but inexplicably, spoke with an english accent of some sort.  I think I would have lost control of myself in some way if I had to dance with Justin Donnely in front of everyone.)

I, of course, stole the show.  Or maybe not.  I don’t really remember.  But what I do remember is something my mom told me after the show.  Some woman who I vaguely knew existed had sought out my mom and told her that I had “a voice like a beautiful bell.”  Now, I do love singing – always have.  But for many years, I had a huge hang-up about singing in front of people.  So, I really had to push past my comfort zone to make a big ham out of myself in front of my classmates and whoever else was there.  This woman’s compliment was my reward.

I now only have a medium sized hang-up about singing in front of people.  Continue reading “The Right Way to Stone Those You Love”

Unknown's avatarRebecca TrotterLeave a comment
enjoy life, life, thoughts

Thinking Makes It So

“There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” – Shakespeare

I picked up this quote back in my senior year in high school while reading Hamlet for class.  When I got to college, I wrote it on a piece of paper and taped it to the wall above my bed.  It’s on my facebook page right now.  

This quote has always spoken to me about the importance of perspective, responsibility and choice.  It says to me that the way I see something – the emotions I associate with it, my analysis of what is going on, the assumptions I make about motivations – is a choice.  If one of my kids says something which is unintentionally rude, I can chose to laugh or be offended.  Sometimes I might have a good reason to be offended, but if I can, I’m going to laugh.  It’s a choice.  And that extends from the biggest things to the smallest things.  I can choose how to view things rather than just go with random gut reactions. Continue reading “Thinking Makes It So”

Unknown's avatarRebecca TrotterLeave a comment
being mom, enjoy life, life

A New Year’s Resolution for the Overwhelmed, Forgetful and Easily Distracted

I hate New Year’s resolutions.  Hate them.  The worst part of New Year’s day for me was always when the qxh (quasi-ex-husband) would pull out a piece of paper and write “Trotter Family Resolutions” across the top.  So we could “pull them out at the end of the year and see how we did”.  Great, another completely unrealistic standard to feel bad about not meeting.  Just what I need! 

The other day I read an article which advised that the key to keeping this year’s resolutions was to set up specific targets.  Like “I will exercise 3 times a week and lose 25 lbs by April 1.”  Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Seriously.  That’s what it said.  Like the two are related.  Continue reading “A New Year’s Resolution for the Overwhelmed, Forgetful and Easily Distracted”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
enjoy life, life, relationships

Be a candle

Loneliness can be a deep, vast sea to those who have no one waiting for them on shore. Open your heart to someone you know is floating in a sea of despair, their head barely above the waterline. Stop in for a visit, jot them an email, or give them a call. The fact that someone cares might be enough to give them the fortitude they need to start paddling. ~ by Sandra Kring

Dear Abby

My parents have always kept a subscription to the Chicago Tribune.  So from the age of about 11 on, I was an avid daily reader of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  Over the years, I was always a bit amazed that the same complaints appeared over and over again; intrusive questions about fertility, noisy chewers, comments about children with disabilities.   Ann and Abby had already answered these questions many times before, people!  Weren’t you paying attention?  Even my friends at school read Ann and Abby most days.  In an argument, Ann or Abby’s opinion was a trump card – they had that kind of authority.  Continue reading “Be a candle”

Unknown's avatarRebecca TrotterLeave a comment
prayer, religion

Prayers that get answered

"Please, please, please!"

Prayer used to confuse me.  Or I should say, prayers asking for specific outcomes used to confuse me.  Like, “please let my car start” or “please let that guy I have a crush on notice me”.  Worthy or not, these are the “please give me what I want” category of prayers.  Or sometimes “please let reality not be reality for me just this once”.  I used to pray such prayers with great fervency.  Jesus said ask and you shall receive.  If I just believed enough, it would be granted to me.  It was prayer as magic.  But magic isn’t real.  And it never worked.  As a matter of fact, people who spend any time around me will tell you that I have remarkably bad luck.  I got 5 flat tires this summer.  At least twice a year my mail is returned to the sender for no apparent reason.  And those are almost always two pieces of mail with money in them.  As a child, I got sick and missed the class field trip 3 years in a row.  It was probably the only time I was sick all year.  That’s just the way it has always been for me.  I don’t know why.  Continue reading “Prayers that get answered”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter4 Comments
prayer, religion

Do You Treat God Like Old Aunt Myrtle?

“Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Luke 18:17

When ever I have hear this verse taught the point is pretty much the same: we should have a child like trust.  What does that even mean?  It gives me a vision of children sitting around gazing up at us with trusting goo-goo eye all day.  As if.  Obedience?  Ever known any real-live children?

Become like little children.  Perhaps Jesus meant this comment more literally than we usually take it.  I happen to know a thing or two about children and off the top of my head, here’s a quick list of typical behaviors:

  • They bring you their boo-boos to fix
  • They follow you around chattering about any little thing they can think of, just to be with you
  • They ask questions – lots and lots of questions
  • They test boundaries
  • They look to you to show them who they are
  • They sometimes have to learn things the hard way
  • They like to make you laugh
  • They seek you out when they are lonely, bored, restless
  • They like to learn more about you and your life
  • They ask more questions
  • They like to show off what they’ve learned
  • They want you to approve of them
  • They want to share all the tiny details of their lives with you
  • They must often be prodded, pushed, persuaded and sometimes even punished to behave properly
  • Their love for you sometimes boils over and they have to let you know how much they love you
  • They push back to learn where and how firm the boundaries are, what the motivation is, and if you can be trusted to be fair
  • They need you to understand them when they mess up and forgive Continue reading “Do You Treat God Like Old Aunt Myrtle?”
Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter3 Comments
prayer, religion

Would you run?

Could you forgive the way that the father of the prodigal son forgives?  Would you want to? 

Last winter as things were really unravelling with the qxh (quasi-ex husband), I was, of course, very upset with him.  I was considering at what point a couple could say that they had hit the point of no return.  At what point would it be reasonable to say that I’d had enough and wasn’t going to consider trying to fix things anymore?  To my horror, as I prayed God brought to mind the story of the prodigal son and challenged me to be like . . . the father.  Really?   Uh, that’s not for me.  Tell me I’m the prodigal who needs to come home or tell me that I’m the older brother who needs to get over himself.  But don’t tell me to run out to joyously meet someone who has willfully ripped my heart to shreds without even getting an apology and admission of wrongdoing first?  Ugh. 

I’m not kidding when I said I was horrified.  Yet each night before dinner our family prays “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  When we pray that, it’s not just a quid-pro-quo: “I’ll forgive him and you’ll forgive me”.  It’s also telling us that forgiving as God forgives is our goal.  And God does forgive by running out and making a complete fool of himself to welcome back the wayward son.  He doesn’t wait for us to grovel, to set up a payment plan, to promise on our lives never to do it again.  He just says, “welcome back.”  Continue reading “Would you run?”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter1 Comment
life, religion

When God Cleans

"I don't wanna take a bath. I like my stink just fine!"

For some time a couple of years ago I was blessed to have a spiritual director who I met with monthly.  Towards the end of my time with her, I remember complaining, “I feel like God is getting down into the nooks and crevices and cleaning out every little speck of dirt he can find.  I wish it would stop.  Hasn’t he done enough?  Does he really have to get into all the little, tiny places?  I’m ready for him to be done”

It’s like it says in scriptures: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.” (Hebrews 12:11)  Too often, we think of discipline as punishment, but discipline is teaching.  It is correcting, leading, challenging and pushing the recipient to mature and grow up.  In proverbs, discipline is described as “training a child up”.  Punishment isn’t the point.  Correction is.  And when we submit to the training God would like to take us through, it is easy and rewarding enough.  But often God starts messing in places we’d just as soon leave alone.  I mean, if I sometimes say mean things when provoked, that’s only normal and hardly needs God to attend to, right?  But God says that his work is to perfect us. And according to him, such things really do require attending to if they are not to be a barrier between us. 

The end of that verse from Hebrews holds the promise, though: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  Today, I am glad that God was willing to reach into all those nooks and crevises to get out as much dirt as possible.  There is no way I could survive the place I am walking through if he hadn’t.  At the time, I just wanted it to stop, but God knew what was coming.  Continue reading “When God Cleans”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter2 Comments
life, prayer, religion

The Mystery of Faith

"Go that way!"

I always wondered about faith.  Evangelicals say that you have to choose to have it.  Calvanists say that you are predestined to either have it or not.  It’s a free gift that you cannot earn.  But you have to nurture and hang onto it.  Catholics and Orthodox Christians practice it with rituals.  So many contradictory ideas. 

What I have learned is that faith is the little voice that pops up when you are discouraged or even despairing and points you back to God.  It tells you something true and sometimes what is true is not what you want to hear.  And you can choose to embrace it and continue walking by faith or you can reject it and try to find your own way forward.   And when times are hard, you have to really listen for it.  You have to really hold onto what you hear.  Because soon enough something will come and wash that little piece of comfort away. 

When I have taught my kids to pray, I have always started with the story of Elijah at Horab from 1 Kings 19:

So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Continue reading “The Mystery of Faith”

Unknown's avatarRebecca Trotter3 Comments
life, prayer, religion

Throwing Pennies at God

You know the story of the widow’s mite?  How Jesus said this widow throwing her last two pennies into the collection box was more faithful than those putting in large amounts from their wealth?  I always read the story and assumed that the widow was giving her last two pennies out of reverence.  But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been that woman throwing her last coins into the Salvation Army bucket.  And it wasn’t often done out of reverence.  When I was younger, I might put my penny in so I wouldn’t feel bad about walking past the bucket without putting anything in.  Sometimes I did put my last coins in as a way of saying, “I know it’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got.  I’ll just trust you to provide the increase.”  A few times though, I put my last coins in as an act of protest and complaint; “You want everything?  Fine take my last pennies.  I do my best, I trust in you and I get left with nothing but a couple of pennies.” 

Research has found that poorer people give more of their money away than others.  A lot of that is because the amounts given as often so small that you weren’t going to do much with the money anyways.   It occured to me that maybe the widow wasn’t so sanguine about her life and her struggles either.  Two copper coins wasn’t worth much.   It would barely have bought food for one meal.  And then what?  Maybe that widow too had been walking this path for too long.  Maybe she was more broken than obedient and was throwing those copper pieces as a form of defiance and challenge to God?  Continue reading “Throwing Pennies at God”

Unknown's avatarRebecca TrotterLeave a comment