Adam Saveage of Mythbusters famously likes to say, “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work so well in real life. While it is true that there are many ways of looking at life, there are 3 basic facts of life which one must be reconciled to at some point: 1. Life is hard. 2. Life is not fair. 3. … Continue reading 3 Immutable Laws of Life
Since I am a contrarian at heart and everyone and their brother is doing the “Let’s talk about what we’re thankful for” bit, I’m going to offer up something completely different. Because as important as gratitude is, I also know that on Thanksgiving there are an awful lot of people for whom the answer to “what are you most grateful for?” is “that I don’t … Continue reading Thanksgiving Family Survival Guide
Getting to know yourself can be one of the biggest, most difficult jobs we will ever undertake. But you can’t properly love yourself – or even really like yourself! – if you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, how will you know what about yourself there is to love? Occassionally take some time to listen to yourself. Sit quietly … Continue reading Know Thine Self
For some people the problem isn’t tolerating conflict; its learning to avoid conflict that’s the challenge! Conflict is part of life, but its important not to allow unneeded and unproductive conflict to become a regular part of life either. Even when it’s necessary and productive, it’s not fun! As a rule, if the conflict is triggered by your emotional state (I’m crabby) or an emotional … Continue reading Learning to avoid conflict
There are many people who believe themselves to be peacemakers because they avoid conflict at all costs. But peacemakers don’t avoid conflicts, they walk through them in order to find peace – if not an actual resolution. To be a peacemaker, you must learn to tolerate conflict – even when that means having someone mad at you! (This doesn’t mean tolerating abuse from someone who … Continue reading Learning to tolerate conflict
Shortly after I got married, a girlfriend passed on this advice: “Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you would rather be right or you’d rather be married. Because you can be right all the way to divorce court.” The is the best advice for life I have ever heard. We humans have a strange obsession with being right. Not only do we tend to … Continue reading Being right is not the most important thing
Recently, my 16 year old son gave me what I consider to be a great compliment; he told me that I needed to talk more in conversations with other people. Of course a couple of weeks later someone else I know complained that I wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. Some days, I’m sure she’s right. But the fact that my kid who … Continue reading Easy Listening
Finding and explaining what’s wrong with people is a great past-time. It’s fun, easy and makes you feel better about your life. It’s the junk food of human relationships! Believe it or not, figuring out what’s good about people is a great past-time as well. It’s challenging, satisfying and makes you feel better about the world. It’s the gourmet meal of human relationships. There are … Continue reading Looking for the Good – People Edition
I distinctly remember being a child and realizing that no one could read my thoughts. It was a very freeing thing for me to know that I couldn’t get in trouble and no human would ever be able to judge me for what I thought in the privacy of my own head. This was the beginning of my love affair with thinking. In your head, … Continue reading Your Brain is a Great Place to be Wrong
The most devastating experience I ever had was losing pretty much every friend I had after I made the decision to raise my oldest son despite being unmarried. I had friends that I loved with all my heart who cut off all contact with me and stop sharing anything about their own lives. (I wrote a bit about how and why I made the decision … Continue reading You are not my friend – the list
The Upside Down World 