Prayers that get answered

"Please, please, please!"

Prayer used to confuse me.  Or I should say, prayers asking for specific outcomes used to confuse me.  Like, “please let my car start” or “please let that guy I have a crush on notice me”.  Worthy or not, these are the “please give me what I want” category of prayers.  Or sometimes “please let reality not be reality for me just this once”.  I used to pray such prayers with great fervency.  Jesus said ask and you shall receive.  If I just believed enough, it would be granted to me.  It was prayer as magic.  But magic isn’t real.  And it never worked.  As a matter of fact, people who spend any time around me will tell you that I have remarkably bad luck.  I got 5 flat tires this summer.  At least twice a year my mail is returned to the sender for no apparent reason.  And those are almost always two pieces of mail with money in them.  As a child, I got sick and missed the class field trip 3 years in a row.  It was probably the only time I was sick all year.  That’s just the way it has always been for me.  I don’t know why.  Continue reading “Prayers that get answered”

Do You Treat God Like Old Aunt Myrtle?

“Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Luke 18:17

When ever I have hear this verse taught the point is pretty much the same: we should have a child like trust.  What does that even mean?  It gives me a vision of children sitting around gazing up at us with trusting goo-goo eye all day.  As if.  Obedience?  Ever known any real-live children?

Become like little children.  Perhaps Jesus meant this comment more literally than we usually take it.  I happen to know a thing or two about children and off the top of my head, here’s a quick list of typical behaviors:

  • They bring you their boo-boos to fix
  • They follow you around chattering about any little thing they can think of, just to be with you
  • They ask questions – lots and lots of questions
  • They test boundaries
  • They look to you to show them who they are
  • They sometimes have to learn things the hard way
  • They like to make you laugh
  • They seek you out when they are lonely, bored, restless
  • They like to learn more about you and your life
  • They ask more questions
  • They like to show off what they’ve learned
  • They want you to approve of them
  • They want to share all the tiny details of their lives with you
  • They must often be prodded, pushed, persuaded and sometimes even punished to behave properly
  • Their love for you sometimes boils over and they have to let you know how much they love you
  • They push back to learn where and how firm the boundaries are, what the motivation is, and if you can be trusted to be fair
  • They need you to understand them when they mess up and forgive Continue reading “Do You Treat God Like Old Aunt Myrtle?”

Would you run?

Could you forgive the way that the father of the prodigal son forgives?  Would you want to? 

Last winter as things were really unravelling with the qxh (quasi-ex husband), I was, of course, very upset with him.  I was considering at what point a couple could say that they had hit the point of no return.  At what point would it be reasonable to say that I’d had enough and wasn’t going to consider trying to fix things anymore?  To my horror, as I prayed God brought to mind the story of the prodigal son and challenged me to be like . . . the father.  Really?   Uh, that’s not for me.  Tell me I’m the prodigal who needs to come home or tell me that I’m the older brother who needs to get over himself.  But don’t tell me to run out to joyously meet someone who has willfully ripped my heart to shreds without even getting an apology and admission of wrongdoing first?  Ugh. 

I’m not kidding when I said I was horrified.  Yet each night before dinner our family prays “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  When we pray that, it’s not just a quid-pro-quo: “I’ll forgive him and you’ll forgive me”.  It’s also telling us that forgiving as God forgives is our goal.  And God does forgive by running out and making a complete fool of himself to welcome back the wayward son.  He doesn’t wait for us to grovel, to set up a payment plan, to promise on our lives never to do it again.  He just says, “welcome back.”  Continue reading “Would you run?”

The Mystery of Faith

"Go that way!"

I always wondered about faith.  Evangelicals say that you have to choose to have it.  Calvanists say that you are predestined to either have it or not.  It’s a free gift that you cannot earn.  But you have to nurture and hang onto it.  Catholics and Orthodox Christians practice it with rituals.  So many contradictory ideas. 

What I have learned is that faith is the little voice that pops up when you are discouraged or even despairing and points you back to God.  It tells you something true and sometimes what is true is not what you want to hear.  And you can choose to embrace it and continue walking by faith or you can reject it and try to find your own way forward.   And when times are hard, you have to really listen for it.  You have to really hold onto what you hear.  Because soon enough something will come and wash that little piece of comfort away. 

When I have taught my kids to pray, I have always started with the story of Elijah at Horab from 1 Kings 19:

So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Continue reading “The Mystery of Faith”

Throwing Pennies at God

You know the story of the widow’s mite?  How Jesus said this widow throwing her last two pennies into the collection box was more faithful than those putting in large amounts from their wealth?  I always read the story and assumed that the widow was giving her last two pennies out of reverence.  But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been that woman throwing her last coins into the Salvation Army bucket.  And it wasn’t often done out of reverence.  When I was younger, I might put my penny in so I wouldn’t feel bad about walking past the bucket without putting anything in.  Sometimes I did put my last coins in as a way of saying, “I know it’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got.  I’ll just trust you to provide the increase.”  A few times though, I put my last coins in as an act of protest and complaint; “You want everything?  Fine take my last pennies.  I do my best, I trust in you and I get left with nothing but a couple of pennies.” 

Research has found that poorer people give more of their money away than others.  A lot of that is because the amounts given as often so small that you weren’t going to do much with the money anyways.   It occured to me that maybe the widow wasn’t so sanguine about her life and her struggles either.  Two copper coins wasn’t worth much.   It would barely have bought food for one meal.  And then what?  Maybe that widow too had been walking this path for too long.  Maybe she was more broken than obedient and was throwing those copper pieces as a form of defiance and challenge to God?  Continue reading “Throwing Pennies at God”

Hanging on by a broken toenail

“Hanging on by a broken toenail” was the description I gave of my mental state earlier today to a friend who, thankfully, listened to my overwhelming mess of a life until I felt better (thank you, Mary!).  If you haven’t been there before, just give it time.  It’ll come to most all of us, unfortunately.  Which is why years ago certain worship songs started to … Continue reading Hanging on by a broken toenail

Know Thine Self

Getting to know yourself can be one of the biggest, most difficult jobs we will ever undertake.  But you can’t properly love yourself – or even really like yourself! – if you don’t know who you are.  If you don’t know who you are, how will you know what about yourself there is to love? Occassionally take some time to listen to yourself.  Sit quietly … Continue reading Know Thine Self

Defiance is a Christian Virtue

The moments in my life that have been most sure and which have left me with the most peace and joy have been moments of defiance.  The times when, even though no one else would get it, I knew the path I needed to take forward and I took it.  These are my reckless moments.  Those things that caused offense, consternation, even concern for my … Continue reading Defiance is a Christian Virtue

Emergency Prayers

My high school English teacher told us to do this and I still do: say a prayer when you see flashing lights or hear a siren. Keeping a good perspective is absolutely essential to enjoying life and emergency lights and sirens are great reminders of just how good our lives our.  Because somewhere nearby someone is having a really, really, really bad day. Flashing lights … Continue reading Emergency Prayers