Throwing Pennies at God

You know the story of the widow’s mite?  How Jesus said this widow throwing her last two pennies into the collection box was more faithful than those putting in large amounts from their wealth?  I always read the story and assumed that the widow was giving her last two pennies out of reverence.  But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been that woman throwing her last coins into the Salvation Army bucket.  And it wasn’t often done out of reverence.  When I was younger, I might put my penny in so I wouldn’t feel bad about walking past the bucket without putting anything in.  Sometimes I did put my last coins in as a way of saying, “I know it’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got.  I’ll just trust you to provide the increase.”  A few times though, I put my last coins in as an act of protest and complaint; “You want everything?  Fine take my last pennies.  I do my best, I trust in you and I get left with nothing but a couple of pennies.” 

Research has found that poorer people give more of their money away than others.  A lot of that is because the amounts given as often so small that you weren’t going to do much with the money anyways.   It occured to me that maybe the widow wasn’t so sanguine about her life and her struggles either.  Two copper coins wasn’t worth much.   It would barely have bought food for one meal.  And then what?  Maybe that widow too had been walking this path for too long.  Maybe she was more broken than obedient and was throwing those copper pieces as a form of defiance and challenge to God?  Continue reading “Throwing Pennies at God”

Be Wrong . . . All the Time

I used to think that being wrong was unacceptable.  I used to always feel bad about myself.  Go figure, huh?  Here’s the thing which I had missed: I wasn’t just inevitably wrong, I was unavoidably wrong.  Which means that being wrong isn’t unacceptable – it can’t be helped.  And in keeping with my philosophy that I don’t need to feel bad about things I can’t … Continue reading Be Wrong . . . All the Time

Some Feelings Just Have to Be Felt

Ever held  a beach ball under water?  You can do it for a while, maybe even quite a while, but eventually the ball will pop back up to the surface and wildly careen off.  It’s pretty much the way our emotions work as well.  You can hold them under, but they don’t go away.  Unless you can hold them under until you die (gee, doesn’t … Continue reading Some Feelings Just Have to Be Felt

Hanging on by a broken toenail

“Hanging on by a broken toenail” was the description I gave of my mental state earlier today to a friend who, thankfully, listened to my overwhelming mess of a life until I felt better (thank you, Mary!).  If you haven’t been there before, just give it time.  It’ll come to most all of us, unfortunately.  Which is why years ago certain worship songs started to … Continue reading Hanging on by a broken toenail