Be a candle

Loneliness can be a deep, vast sea to those who have no one waiting for them on shore. Open your heart to someone you know is floating in a sea of despair, their head barely above the waterline. Stop in for a visit, jot them an email, or give them a call. The fact that someone cares might be enough to give them the fortitude they need to start paddling. ~ by Sandra Kring

Dear Abby

My parents have always kept a subscription to the Chicago Tribune.  So from the age of about 11 on, I was an avid daily reader of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  Over the years, I was always a bit amazed that the same complaints appeared over and over again; intrusive questions about fertility, noisy chewers, comments about children with disabilities.   Ann and Abby had already answered these questions many times before, people!  Weren’t you paying attention?  Even my friends at school read Ann and Abby most days.  In an argument, Ann or Abby’s opinion was a trump card – they had that kind of authority.  Continue reading “Be a candle”

Telling the difference between an excuse and a reason

I’m not one to put much stock in sterotypes, but I was raised Catholic.  And I have Catholic guilt.  Bad.  But I’ve worked really hard to get rid of it and I’ve learned some things along the way.  Like that the problem with Catholic guilt is that it relies on a very inaccurate view of how the world works.  It’s mostly sustained by the holy trio of bad ideas:

1. Somehow everything is my responsibility

2  Everything that goes wrong is my fault. 

3. What I want or think is almost certainly wrong.

Catholic guilt’s hard to get rid of because of the specter of pride lurking just over your shoulder.  If you reject the triumvrent above, it’s because you are giving into pride.  Giving into pride is giving into a delusion.  Taking the risk of being delusional requires lots of evidence and really, what have you ever done that’s so special any ways? 

One of the things which I have had to learn as part of the process of moving past feeling guilty for bothering people with my breathing is how to tell the difference between an excuse and a reason.  Continue reading “Telling the difference between an excuse and a reason”

Be Wrong . . . All the Time

I used to think that being wrong was unacceptable.  I used to always feel bad about myself.  Go figure, huh?  Here’s the thing which I had missed: I wasn’t just inevitably wrong, I was unavoidably wrong.  Which means that being wrong isn’t unacceptable – it can’t be helped.  And in keeping with my philosophy that I don’t need to feel bad about things I can’t … Continue reading Be Wrong . . . All the Time

Some Feelings Just Have to Be Felt

Ever held  a beach ball under water?  You can do it for a while, maybe even quite a while, but eventually the ball will pop back up to the surface and wildly careen off.  It’s pretty much the way our emotions work as well.  You can hold them under, but they don’t go away.  Unless you can hold them under until you die (gee, doesn’t … Continue reading Some Feelings Just Have to Be Felt