The best parenting analogy I have heard compared having a child to being given a plant. Some plants are more demanding to grow than others. Some are more sensitive to change. Some must be nurtured for many seasons before they will show their flowers and bear their fruit. Others are easy and sunny and thrive on neglect. We create a lot of trouble when we try … Continue reading What sort of garden do you grow?
You know the story of the widow’s mite? How Jesus said this widow throwing her last two pennies into the collection box was more faithful than those putting in large amounts from their wealth? I always read the story and assumed that the widow was giving her last two pennies out of reverence. But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been that woman throwing her last coins into the Salvation Army bucket. And it wasn’t often done out of reverence. When I was younger, I might put my penny in so I wouldn’t feel bad about walking past the bucket without putting anything in. Sometimes I did put my last coins in as a way of saying, “I know it’s not much, but it’s what I’ve got. I’ll just trust you to provide the increase.” A few times though, I put my last coins in as an act of protest and complaint; “You want everything? Fine take my last pennies. I do my best, I trust in you and I get left with nothing but a couple of pennies.”
Research has found that poorer people give more of their money away than others. A lot of that is because the amounts given as often so small that you weren’t going to do much with the money anyways. It occured to me that maybe the widow wasn’t so sanguine about her life and her struggles either. Two copper coins wasn’t worth much. It would barely have bought food for one meal. And then what? Maybe that widow too had been walking this path for too long. Maybe she was more broken than obedient and was throwing those copper pieces as a form of defiance and challenge to God? Continue reading “Throwing Pennies at God”
I’m not one to put much stock in sterotypes, but I was raised Catholic. And I have Catholic guilt. Bad. But I’ve worked really hard to get rid of it and I’ve learned some things along the way. Like that the problem with Catholic guilt is that it relies on a very inaccurate view of how the world works. It’s mostly sustained by the holy trio of bad ideas:
1. Somehow everything is my responsibility
2 Everything that goes wrong is my fault.
3. What I want or think is almost certainly wrong.
Catholic guilt’s hard to get rid of because of the specter of pride lurking just over your shoulder. If you reject the triumvrent above, it’s because you are giving into pride. Giving into pride is giving into a delusion. Taking the risk of being delusional requires lots of evidence and really, what have you ever done that’s so special any ways?
One of the things which I have had to learn as part of the process of moving past feeling guilty for bothering people with my breathing is how to tell the difference between an excuse and a reason. Continue reading “Telling the difference between an excuse and a reason”
You know what I hate? I hate not being able to be real about my life because dealing with other people freaking out over the things I say or am going through or feel is a burden that I don’t have the strength to carry on top of everything else. I hate that on the basis of not a God damned thing people think that … Continue reading My I hate rant
Want to help put quality, accessible and engaging Christian reading material into the hands of a trucker, prisoner or recovering drug addict? For each copy of The Upside Down World – A Book of Wisdom in Progress purchased directly from me for $12 plus $2 shipping, a copy with be donated to a local ministry to distribute to a person in need. Additional copies for donation may … Continue reading Buy One Give One
Quote from The Upside Down World – A Book of Wisdom in Progress copyright R. Trotter 2011 Painting by Akeem Scott. Don’t feel this way yet? Read this: You are a Beautiful Woman. Continue reading Dear Marketing Geniuses
I used to think that being wrong was unacceptable. I used to always feel bad about myself. Go figure, huh? Here’s the thing which I had missed: I wasn’t just inevitably wrong, I was unavoidably wrong. Which means that being wrong isn’t unacceptable – it can’t be helped. And in keeping with my philosophy that I don’t need to feel bad about things I can’t … Continue reading Be Wrong . . . All the Time
Ever held a beach ball under water? You can do it for a while, maybe even quite a while, but eventually the ball will pop back up to the surface and wildly careen off. It’s pretty much the way our emotions work as well. You can hold them under, but they don’t go away. Unless you can hold them under until you die (gee, doesn’t … Continue reading Some Feelings Just Have to Be Felt
“Hanging on by a broken toenail” was the description I gave of my mental state earlier today to a friend who, thankfully, listened to my overwhelming mess of a life until I felt better (thank you, Mary!). If you haven’t been there before, just give it time. It’ll come to most all of us, unfortunately. Which is why years ago certain worship songs started to … Continue reading Hanging on by a broken toenail
The Upside Down World 