I clipped this essay out of the local paper 10 years ago and don’t know who the original author is, but wanted to share: For all parents and grandparents . . . The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140. This does not touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to … Continue reading Children: What’s the return on investment?
I had a chance to chat this afternoon with Alex Botten on his podcast show Fundamentally Flawed regarding the perils and problems with teaching kids literal creationism. We had fun. And kind of ripped on advocates of literal creationism. I hope you will head over and check it out. If you are unfamiliar with my ideas regarding evolution and Christianity, I have a page on … Continue reading Fundamentally Flawed Podcast With Rebecca
It is Friday. And Friday is a good day for wine. Because you’re too tired to do anything crazy, but something to take the edge off is called for. Wine is perfect for that! And let me tell you, if you are getting drunk off of wine, the wine you are drinking isn’t good enough. Or you’re not paying enough attention to it. Either way, … Continue reading Did the Ex Try to Poison Me? Plus, A Guide to Wine for the Newbie.
Last summer, after my husband left me with 5 kids and very little money, I did what any logical woman who hasn’t had a real job in 12 years would do. I decided to publish a book. The Upside Down World ~ A Book of Wisdom in Progress was the result. It came out almost exactly a month after the ex left. I still haven’t decided if … Continue reading Now Available For Kindle: The Upside Down World ~ A Book of Wisdom in Progress
I spent the day upgrading the blog. I’m still working on details, but I have 48 hours to decide if I want to use this theme or not. If you have a minute to head over to the blog and let me know what you think, I’d be mighty appreciative. Even just a “Better” or “Worse” would be useful. Thank you! -Rebecca Continue reading Looking for Feedback
A few years ago, I was writing an obituary for a friend’s father who had passed away suddenly. As many of you may have noticed, I do alright with the writing part of things most of the time, but I’m not quite so skilled as an editor*. So, you shouldn’t be too surprised at the fact that I accidentally put the word “believed” where “beloved” was supposed to go. So the first line read: “Mr. Bob Kennedy, believed father of Teddy and Linda Kennedy. . .” Suddenly it seemed like not such a bad thing that Mr. Kennedy’s ex-wife hadn’t shown up to help her children handle the arrangements.
(I spent the weekend with Mr. Kennedy a couple of years earlier when his son Teddy got married. We were both just-outside-the-inner-circle participants in the wedding. My ex was the best man and Mr. Kennedy was the now sober and present father. I am quite certain that Mr. Kennedy absolutely laughed his ass off over the whole thing. I mean, he valued his children more than men who never went without them sometimes do. But the whole thing was pretty rich. He would have seen the humor.)
I keep thinking about that story, because I keep thinking about her – the former Mrs. Kennedy. Continue reading “I Need an Editor. Or Something. . . Forgiving. For Real.”
Everyone has a theory to explain the breakdown of the family: culture, government policy, the sexual revolution, poverty, racism, global trade, etc, etc. A few days back, I shared my theory: unresolved trauma from often horrific life experiences. I said I was going to write about what I think Christians have a moral obligation to do in response and that is what this post is about. Now, before you snort and click away, allow me to explain myself . . .
A few years ago, the ex told me about a woman he knew who lived in a high poverty area and had put her 14 year old daughter on birth control pills. The girl was an honor student, insisted that she wasn’t sexually active and didn’t intend to become sexually active, and didn’t really want to be on the pills but the mother insisted. I told my husband that I thought it was probably a good idea. Not necessarily because the pills themselves would keep her from getting pregnant, but because the discipline of having to remember to take one at the same time everyday would serve her well.
Many of us grew up in homes with bedtimes, we sat down for meals with our families, got handed a vitamin with breakfast by mom and could always find a quiet spot to do homework. Often we don’t appreciate the way these simple routines and disciplines shape and prepare us to manage our lives in the real world. Including using birth control methods effectively.
I was a poor single mom. I have known a lot of much more stereotypical poor single moms (ie not just the black sheep of an intact, well-educated, upper-middle class family). I can personally attest to the fact that is not hard to get condoms or birth control pills. People practically throw them at you when you’re a college student or a single mom. The problem is I have known more than one person who became a parent while a bag of condoms from the local clinic sat on a dresser across the room. Continue reading “Why Christians Have a Moral Obligation Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage”
I wish I could show the beauty I see in you when love looks through me Many poets say that their poems just come to them, often fully formed. This is both how I usually write poems and why I haven’t written a lot more poetry. Usually it starts with some phrase that floats around my head for a while. Sometimes that’s all there is. I’ve had some phrases … Continue reading Writing my first traditional, non-sucky Haiku
I used to know a woman who did parent education with low-income, teen moms. One day we were talking about teaching basic nutrition and moms putting soda in baby bottles (something which is simply unimaginable to the sort of moms I hang out with). She explained to me, “usually she is trying to be nice to her baby. She likes soda. She’s a teen so she thinks everyone is making a big deal out of nothing if they say soda is bad. And really, she just wants to give the baby something that they will enjoy having. Then the baby is quiet and she feels like a good mom.”
And I thought about it and kind of nodded my head. Obviously, we’re talking about mom-kid who is fatherless and has probably been abused. Her own mother who was probably the same. There’s actually a developmental point where a baby who wants to share starts to understand that what she likes isn’t always the right thing to offer to someone else. But that happens in toddlerhood. And then for a little while I decided that these girls must be really messed up to think it was just being nice to let their babies drink cola. Until I reminded myself that I regularly let my kids drink out of my coffee mug and will even make them their own mini-cup as a treat. Um, maybe they are just adolescents with really bad taste and a teenaged perspective on life doing what many parents do sometimes? Many people do say that adolescence and toddlerhood are pretty much the same thing after all. Continue reading “God is father to the fatherless. We just call ’em bastards.”
Perhaps you have heard about the time religious rulers asked Jesus what the greatest of the commandments was and he answered, ” ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Did you know that it wasn’t Jesus but another popular rabbi of the time, Rabbi Hillel who was responsible for popularizing the golden rule among first century Jews? Jesus would almost certainly have been familiar with this man and his teachings. (Rabbi Hillel was also well known for teaching against judging others and opening the study of the Torah to those who were interested but could not pay.) In fact, Rabbi Hillel took it a bit farther than Jesus did; he listed “Love your neighbor as yourself” as “the main idea of the Torah”. Jesus put it next to loving God.
I tell you all of this to point out that new, revolutionary ideas do not arrive whole-cloth out of the ether. They get built on protests and tweaks and half-steps and built-up experience. And it is in this context that I think we need to understand the viral phenomena that is “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus“. It’s a spoken word piece by Jefferson Bethke a 22 year old from Seattle which is the subject of David Brook’s (poorly written, poorly executed) column today in the NYT. Continue reading “Brooks, Dreher, DeYoung et al vs “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus””
The Upside Down World 